A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. I hold in my hand these Box 4, Folder 46. A: "Leave it to Beaver." A: Lady-in-waiting. Carnac the Magnificent Turban/Hat Line: 479 Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . The character was introduced in 1964. A: Shake-N-Bake. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: Supervisor. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Mouse over chart for play descriptions. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Forum Novelties. Q. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? A: Dustin Hoffman. Introducing: Carnac the Magnificent A: "The Dumplings." A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. Carnac the Magnificent - Wikipedia The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Carson . A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your [1] "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Show"? Star Paths Likely Guided Minoan Culture | Ancient Origins Prime Video. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? A: Sueeee, sueeee. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Q: Name three movements. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php A: Superbowl. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. . Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. carnac the magnificent curses She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. dickory? A: Kris Kristofferson A: Ben Gay. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. The character was introduced in 1964. ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: The Laughing Policeman. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? A: Crabgrass. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A: High rollers. us? , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. A: Touchback. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them [applause]. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube . A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. 'Nonsense on stilts': Legal experts dismiss Trump's claim that The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. KeyCastr. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? A: Rub-a-dub-dub. A: The Rock of Gibralter. A: Rosy red cheeks. compartment in your sister. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. carnac the magnificent curses It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Feel free to laugh, but beware! My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. A: The American people. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? tissue. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. . A: Sale of the Century. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." I forgot aboutyour total recall. The Answer: Become a professional politician. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? A: Cyclone. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. A: "Hi diddly dee." They've been kept in Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. A: 50 miles per hour. the Denver Nuggets. No more years! Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all ED: Certainly worth waiting for And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. you? The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. Carnac The Magnificent undated. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Line: 315 Hand made. grenade? A: Pussy Willow. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. . How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. The book is {\it May You! CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. . On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? Hand made. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. A: Once is not enough. Line: 68 And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Story. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. A: Kumquat. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter.